Monday, February 25, 2013

Week 3 -- A Blog with a Purpose, I Hope

When I started this blog it was all about DIY and crafts (cool crafts, not crafty crafts) with a little real estate and home staging.  Lately it has morphed slightly to fitness plus the other stuff.  I'm not going to stop blogging about DIY and the rest of that but I am hoping to transition to a blog with a meaning.  And I hope that meaning is going to be helping people deal with and avoid eating disorders.  With that said, I need to tell my story.  Sorry to the skimmers.  This may be long.  And there will be a nutrition and exercise plan at the end...

When I was very young I was in the normal size range.  I was healthy.  I LOVED to eat.  My grandma used to tell me I was such a good eater.  The thing is, I didn't want to be the "good eater."  My cousins that were my age were not good eaters.  I wanted to be like them.

Starting out early as a runner.
But I wasn't like them.  They were picky eaters and I wasn't.  I liked everything except for carrots and I ate everything except for carrots.

Then I hit the awkward stage.  I got fat starting around second grade.  That was when I went on my first diet.  I don't remember what I ate.  I'm sure my mom made sure I was healthy.  But I do remember losing weight and feeling so good I ran and slid on my classroom floor because I was so happy that I was losing weight.  I remember being in the third grade and on weigh-in day I was 73 pounds, which sucked because the other fat girl on the bus with me was in fourth grade and weighed 72 pounds.

Christmas in 3rd grade.
My friends were all smaller than I was.  I was taller and bigger so I always slouched when I was around them.  I weighed 110 in fifth grade, 126 in sixth grade, and I was so happy that I could lie in seventh grade because they just asked us our weight.

Even after I "grew into my weight." I was still bigger than my friends, who boys always liked.  My freshman year of high school I weighed 147 pounds.  I'm 5'8" and I thought that was HUGE.
14 years old and so freaking cool.
Then something happened.  I broke my neck (which I can write about in another post if you're interested) and I couldn't eat for a week, then I didn't want to eat much for a few weeks.  I ended up losing around 12 pounds.  Granted, it was muscle (as well as fat) that I lost so I wasn't getting leaner, I was just smaller, but I liked it.
Broken neck -- 15-years-old.

I liked it so much that I stopped eating.  The next year (after I broke my neck) I played soccer so I got a ton of exercise.  There were days where I would eat a package of gummy raspberries (because they were fat free) and maybe a can of soup if it had less than 2 grams of fat.  It was all about fat grams.  The goal was to never eat more than 2 per day.  I lost weight.  I started to get a lot of attention and compliments and I ate it up.  I wanted more.  So I lost more weight.  I would take my dad's Phen Phen pills so I wouldn't be hungry and would lose more weight.  At my low weight I was 119 pounds.  People would ask me to stop losing weight because I was too thin.  I loved that.  I didn't see myself as too thin.  They were "compliments" to me.
17 years old, 119 pounds
One of my favorite parts of my body was my collar bone.  I loved to see it -- I still do.  Look at the collar bones on me at my Junior Prom.  But I was bummed because this dress was a size 10.  I couldn't believe I was so low in weight and still a size 10 (even though I could fit into my friend's size 3's)!

Junior Prom
Then something awesome happened.  A boy liked me.  And not just any boy.  He was the most popular boy in the grade above me (senior).  He even liked me enough to drop a bunch of money on professional pictures of us together.  Haha!

After he graduated he left for two years to serve a mission for our church.  And guess what.  Other boys liked me.  I loved the attention.  LOVED it.  The thing is, I know they were originally "attracted" to me because of how I looked.  And the problem with that is that I did it the wrong way -- by pretty much starving myself.

I was in the musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers my senior year.  I thought I had a big abdomen so I duck taped my waist like a girdle to shrink it.  
Superman cape made for my 2-year-old brother.
I continued to starve myself until I was 20 and went to BYU-Hawaii where I paid for a cafeteria meal plan so I ate twice per day.

When I was 21 I served a mission for my church.  I ate no candy the entire time.  I was so worried about getting fat and I asked people all the time if I looked bigger.  One day someone finally said "maybe" and I freaked out.  I started starving myself again during the day and would binge and purge at night.  I took diet pills too.  This time I went from about 135-140 to 126.  People started to notice and compliment me.  I was looking great!  Then I had a good friend recognize the pattern and she set up a surprise meeting for me with our mission president (the man in charge of the 200+ 20-year-old missionaries).  He was an OBGYN and he and his wife talked to me about my "anorexic and bulimic tendencies."  She told me they knew I would do it again, which totally gave me permission (in my mind).

A couple of days later I got a phone call from my mission president that basically said that if I did it again I was being sent home.  I didn't do it again until I was around 26.  

This cycle of horrible eating habits and borderline disorders continued until after I was married.  I tried every diet I could -- Atkins, Weight Watchers, etc.  I even had lipo (which I still totally love, don't get me wrong).  The only thing that ended the cycle was when I learned how to do it the right way.  It's all about education!  Now I know that eating healthy (with a balance of carbs, fat, and protein) and lifting weights (as well as doing cardio) will get me into those pants that I want to be in and my body won't be starving.

At my fittest I weighed 132, was 19% body fat, and fit into a size 3 (although I was comfortably a 6).  I was healthy and eating often.   Compare that to when I was 17, starving myself, 119, and in the same size.

When I feel it's necessary I will probably post about my suggestions on how to deal with teenagers like I was but if you are in the situation with your daughter, please email me.  I want to help.  I want to educate her.  She needs to know that she can be healthy and lean without starving herself.  But mainly I want her to not think about food ALL THE TIME like I did.  And maybe that will take a counselor, which I am not.

So today is week 3 of my nutrition and exercise plan.  I'm doing pretty well with the exercise part.  I'm eating healthily but not exactly what the nutrition plan says.  It was so much easier when I didn't have kids.  ;)


Pre Workout (6:00 AM)
200 cal bar or shake/banana and PB/etc.

MEAL 1 (08:00 AM) 
0.5 cup Cereal-Oatmeal-Measured Dry
1 Egg-White-Fresh
1/2 Apple
1 Egg-Whole-Fresh
0.25 cup Milk-Nonfat/Skim
322 cal

MEAL 2 (10:00 AM)
0.5 cup Cheese-Cottage-Lowfat 1%
10 Kashi TLC Crackers
1/2 Apple
270 cal

MEAL 3 (12:30 PM) 
Meal Replacement Shake/Bar
160 calories

MEAL 4 (03:00 PM)  
1 oz beef jerky
10 Kashi TLC Crackers166 cal

MEAL 5 (06:00 PM)
1/3 c brown rice
3 oz-wt Chicken Breast Skinless-Roasted
1 cup Beans-Green,Snap-Cooked
239 cal

MEAL 7 (09:00 PM) 
0.5 cup Cheese-Cottage-Lowfat 1%
0.5 cup Cucumber-Slices
0.5 Tomato-Medium Whole

Program Totals:
1500 calories (approx)


Eliptical Machine  Intervals 3 min Jog 2 min Sprint30 & 30 Minutes6 & 5 days per week

DayBody PartExerciseSetsRepsWeightRestSpeedNotesExercise Info
1ChestIncline Dumbbell Chest Press315 Superset No Rest2/4/2Superset with other 3 sets back exerciseDetails
1BackCable Lat Pull Down315 Superset No Rest2/4/2Superset with other 3 sets chest exerciseDetails
1ChestDumbbell Chest Press1010 Superset No Rest3/5/2Superset with other 10 sets back exerciseDetails
1BackSeated Cable Row1010 Superset No Rest3/5/2Superset with other 10 sets chest exerciseDetails
2LegsLeg Extension315 Superset No Rest2/4/2Superset with other 3 set exerciseDetails
2LegsSeated Calf Raise Machine315 Superset No Rest2/4/2Superset with other 3 sets exerciseDetails
2LegsLeg Press Plate Loaded1010 Superset No Rest3/5/2Superset with other 10 sets exerciseDetails
2LegsSeated Leg Curl Machine1010 Superset No Rest3/5/2Superset with other 10 sets exerciseDetails
3ShouldersRear Shoulder Fly Machine315 Superset No Rest2/4/2Superset with other 3 sets exerciseDetails
3Core/AbsBall Crunches315 Superset No Rest2/4/2Superset with other 3 sets exerciseDetails
3ShouldersShoulder Lateral Raise Machine1010 Superset No Rest3/5/2Superset with other 10 sets exerciseDetails
3Core/AbsForearm Bridge1060sec Superset No RestHold ConstantSuperset with other 10 sets exerciseDetails
4BicepsStanding Hammer Dumbbell Curl315 Superset No Rest2/4/2Superset with other 3 sets exerciseDetails
4TricepsCable Triceps Press Down315 Superset No Rest2/4/2Superset with other 3 sets exerciseDetails
4BicepsIncline Bench Dumbbell Curls1010 Superset No Rest3/5/2Superset with other 10 sets exerciseDetails
4TricepsBarbell Skull Crusher1010 Superset No Rest3/5/2Superset with other 10 sets exerciseDetails


  1. Hiya, I'm a new reader (came via Mama Laughlin, I think - you guest posted a couple days ago if I remember right?). I LOVE this post. I have a similar background and I think it's awesome that this is part of your goal for your blog. Can't wait to read more.

  2. I too, struggled with similar situations at a young age. I think it's so brave of you to be so open and honest about yourself, in an effort to help others. It's a very scary thing and I commend you for your willingness to help other girls facing similar struggles. Thank you for sharing your story!

  3. Hey Kel I think that it is great that you are sharing this story. I know it will help someone out there. It is so great that you have figured out a healthy way to eat and lose weight. Keep up the great work. Good luck with your weight loss. I know it is hard but you can do it. You are a great example. I wish I could get the motivation to get into better shape. Maybe one of these days I will follow along in your footsteps. And man we were so freaking cool. Those pictures we did crack me up.

  4. Thanks for sharing this story!

  5. I am so glad you shared this. My 13 year old was telling me she weighed more than her one friend and though that meant she was fat. ( she is 5'1 and weighs 102 lbs, she is not heavy at all) I had to have a conversation with her about how the scale doesn't tell us everything. I am so glad she came to me.

  6. Wow, Kelli. I had no idea. Just goes to show we never know what trials others are facing. I'm sure this will help someone somewhere. I was just talking to Jeremy the other day about how just a short time ago our society (and us) were so uneducated about eating healthy. Back then, we were all about fat-free...and that's about it! It's great that you are blogging about this. Sometimes people jokingly give me a hard time about being healthy (obviously, they haven't seen me down a row of Oreos), but I eat really similarly to you...and it's not a's a lifestyle. That's the key. No starving, no special foods, no pills, just real food that makes our bodies healthy. I love how you stress the importance of diet and exercise, that there's no magic solution, and that when we eat some junk's okay! Anyway, this comment is long enough. Great post!

  7. It's interesting how we've both struggled with food, but in such different ways. I'm glad you are in a better place right now and are able to keep things in check. Please let me know when you want to go out and "play." I think staying active with things you love is a great way to keep your weight in check.

  8. Kelli I had a similar experience. Thank you for sharing your story. Why do we do that to our body and why is it so hard to leave that life behind?? Thanks again.

  9. I definitely want to hear about your broken neck more. What a great and personal post Kelli! I so appreciate you sharing this with me. I often think that I can't relate to girls who were skinny in high school and now are overweight just trying to get back to that high school weight again and your post showed me that's not always the full picture and how important it is to see the other side- under-eating. Thanks for sharing your story.

  10. Loved this post, it's nice to be able to read others people's struggles with an eating disorder. It's a long road, but so worth fighting against the eating disorder voice

  11. I didn't know you struggled with this. I'm very worried with my soon-to-be teenager and her self-image, as I think I already told you about her. I never have used the word fat or fatty foods. I would always talk about healthy foods but they pick up these things all over the place. I just hope I can teach all my kids these important eating habits. You have been such a life-saver. Thanks for sharing your story. It's also fun to see those old high school pics. :)

  12. Thank you for sharing your struggles. At times I thought I was reading my own story. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I was always the biggest kid in my class. But with a class of 10 students, the odds weren't that great! When I moved to public school, I wasn't the biggest kid anymore, but my body image was HORRIBLE! I am only about 10 pounds away from where I was the day I gave birth to my son. It makes me sick, because right after he was born, I was down to a weight I hadn't seen in years. It the past 18 months, I have gained 30+ pounds. I need to lose this weight, because it is holding me back from the wife/parent/person I want to be.


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